In Feng Shui, your bedroom is always a romance hotspot.
There is a good chance that another part of your home is where Relationships & Romance officially sits in the Bagua – and you should pay attention to that area too.
But if you want to use Feng Shui to improve things romantically, the bedroom is of great importance.
Before we get stuck into some tips, I want to stress that I don’t believe that applying these tips will magically transform your love life.
What I do believe, though, is that they can help you get clearer – on what you want, what you don’t want, and how you might need to make some internal changes to achieve external changes in your life.
Begin any Feng Shui process by setting an intention, and with that done, start tidying up.
I know you might be looking for some sexier, less chore-like tips, and I have some of those too. But it’s all a waste of time implementing them if your room is a mess.
The fundamental point of Feng Shui is to improve the energy (chi) in your home. It needs to be able to circulate freely, and piles of clutter impede that. Stuck chi stagnates. So, no matter what area of your life you want to improve, clearing the clutter is always the first Feng Shui tip to apply.
Make space for you and your partner.
For equality in a relationship, Feng Shui recommends that both partners have side access to the bed. Even if you’re currently single, please do not push it up against a wall unless the space in the room dictates this.
If possible, pull that bed out, ensuring your lover (or future lover) doesn’t have to climb over you to get in and out.
And you want to apply the same principle of equality to your bedside tables and lighting.
Some Feng Shui practitioners would say you need the same table and lamp on either side of the bed — again, to promote equality in the relationship. Others say they don’t need to be identical.
Go with the guidelines that most resonates with you. For me, it’s the latter. I want a partner that complements me, rather than a male version of me.
The most important thing is that each partner has their own table and light. And try to keep them to a similar size — maybe one is taller, the other is wider. But neither one is overly dominant compared to the other.
If you’re single, make some space in your wardrobe or dresser. Clear a drawer, a shelf, and a little hanging space for the partner you’d like to draw in. Some schools of thought even suggest having a spare dressing gown.
All artwork needs to depict happy couples rather than families.
Keep your kids’ photos out of your bedroom. If you’re in a relationship, then have some happy images of you as a couple. Choose your absolute favourite photos that still make you smile when you give them your attention.
And if you’re single, hang some art that depicts happy couples or an abstract piece that conjures up the feeling of being in a happy relationship. Remove images of single people from the bedroom.
Add some pink touches.
Yes, even if you’re a straight male, this is a tip to consider. Putting gender aside, each of us has masculine and feminine energy within us. The masculine (yang) helps us to get things done.
The feminine (yin) is more receptive and allows us to relax better. Soft muted colors can help us achieve this in the bedroom, and pink is especially attuned to love’s energy.
Pink is associated with the heart center, with self-love. It is a tint of red, symbolizing fire. But it is toned down to a state where it won’t stimulate arguments (as red can) but can help spark romance.
It doesn’t have to be the candy-colored shade you might associate with a child’s bedroom. There’s a world of pinks out there to be discovered.
And you don’t have to paint the walls pink either. Pink sheets are an attractive option – and you could just have a pink undersheet if you want to be discreet about it.
Other alternatives would be to apply pink through artwork and other accessories.
Soften the lighting.
Strong or harsh lighting will add yang energy to the room, and as already mentioned, we’re looking for a yin effect in this space.
Soft lighting is also more conducive to romance and seduction. So prioritize bedside lights that give off a soft glow over bright ceiling light. And add light some candles when you’re having some me-time or couples-time in the bedroom.
Set the scene for romance, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.
Bring in fresh flowers or plants.
The gift of flowers has long been symbolic of romance. They help to open our hearts to possibilities, and they also add to the yin energy we’re looking to create.
Roses are an obvious romance signifier. Pink peonies are also recommended for romance. And orchids are another Feng Shui favorite for the bedroom.
But don’t be too hung up on finding the perfect plants or blossoms. What’s most important is that whatever they are, you love them. If they make your heart sing, that’s a good thing.
Crucially, you want live flowers and plants. In Feng Shui, dried flowers are considered to be dead, unhealthy energy and aren’t recommended in any part of your home.
Keep mirrors to a minimum.
In general, Feng Shui isn’t big on having mirrors in the bedroom. Mirrors project yang (active) energy and the bedroom is intended to be a yin space designed for relaxation.
So keep them to a minimum and avoid having them reflecting the bed. Some Feng Shui schools suggest they can cause arguments (because the energy is more stimulated) or invite infidelity when the bed is reflected.
Equally, TVs and computer screens aren’t encouraged in the bedroom. If you have these, then cover them with a screen or piece of fabric when you’re going to sleep or making love.
Space clear after an argument or break-up.
You may have noticed some of these tips are about bringing things in, and others are about removing what isn’t helpful.
All of them are about making the energy in your bedroom more conducive to romance.
To support these changes more deeply, consider doing a space clearing ritual after an argument. It will help clear the air so that the energy between you and your partner may lighten.
After a break-up you want to do the same once you’re ready to let go and move on. Be sure to remove photos or other significant reminders of your ex before you commence the ceremony.
Apply what resonates and leave the rest.
Some of these tips may make sense to you on some level – these are the ones to get cracking with. Be less concerned about those you feel resistant to.
As mentioned at the outset, they aren’t magic tricks. But when you consciously implement some of these tips while intending to improve your romantic situation, it can help bring clarity and insight on the level of personal growth.
And ultimately, it’s the inner growth that will most impact our love lives and everything else.